Sitting at home watching the Red Sox -D-Rays game on mlb.tv.
Wearing nothing but shorts, and the self-satisfied feeling that comes with ditching the air conditioning for a single Vornado fan. I must be saving like, what, $2.14 tonight?
Anyway, watching ball reminds me of one opening day in Little League years ago. The league had put some money into fixing up the clubhouse/snackbar/announcer booth behind the backstop on the main field. Included in the renovations was a PA system through which they announced our names when we batted. Seemed pretty cool to me.
Too cool, I guess. I got up to bat, given the bunt order. The announcer chose to announce me when the pitcher, who must have had 6 pituitary glands, was mid-wind-up.
Just like the announcer in the head of Airplane's Ted Striker, it sounded as if the announcement descended from the heavens, not from the speakers above the snackbar. As I placed a perfect bunt down the third base line, I froze, almost tracking the sound waves as they flooded the field and even the parking lot. It might sound like a 10 year old's moment of vanity, but it wasn't.
It was more like, "That's my name echoing over all this space? That's friggin ridiculous. I'm in Little League."
What was more ridiculous was how quickly the pitcher fielded the ball and then threw me out, all before I had even moved a muscle. I believe the bulk of the comments I received upon my return to the dugout were among the "nice bunt," "ya gotta run," and "what the @#$* is the matter with you?" variety. I don't know how these players do it. There's a lot more speakers out there.
