Why Am I Allowed to Drink Beer On My Train?
I take the Metro North train out of NY City every night, and I’m allowed to just walk on the train with an open bottle of beer. I’m allowed to drink said beer on the train, openly. Why? Why do they trust me, or the others on this train? Are we that unthreatening?
“Oh, the dorks heading home to grass and tree country? Let ‘em get sauced. What could happen? Maybe they fall asleep on a copy of the Financial Times? Soil a pair of Dockers? If they do something bad, it’ll happen in their own towns ayway.”
I WILL NOT BE UNDERESTIMATED. That’s why I’m going to do something rash right now, before this train leaves the station. I’m going to chuck this bottle at the head of one of the conductors…here goes…
(PAUSE.)
(SIP.)
Naa.